One Life
by Krahae
Summary: Identity can come from many sources. The lack of students forces the schools to close down many sports programs, but some refuse to let this stop them. Storyline begins after the Seventh Angel. Initial SxR, possible addition later.
1. Prologue

I own what I do, not what GAINAX does.

As life is best lived by and exampled by the living, and in living, there are no censors to experience. So too, is fiction. This fiction, at least. Rated T for now, but be warned it may go M. Life happens.

Prologue:

This is the world you know. The comfortable world, the sane world, the simple world. Second Impact is long past, and also the chaos and madness of the wars before the Valentines Treaty.

This is the world you know. Tokyo-3 shines like a jewel, set in the hills of Hakone. Lake Ashi rests along it's southern border, a setting as the steel and glass glint in the sun. The setting cries out perfection, in both design and nature. Lake Ashi and the surrounding hills are lush, rife with greenery and the promise of wildlife. The many hot springs are a testament that the world here is alive. The city is a modern day Mecca; science and industry and learning combine here to rise above all other human cities. Tokyo-3 is the center of human culture, this is a certainty. Mount Fuji, the ever present sentinel, stands nearby, easily seen from within the Hakone valley.

This is the world you know. Time passes, seasons change. It's nearly fall here, yet the trees are lush. The air, heavy with humidity. Cicadas hold the silence back, a beast they easily keep in check now. There is an air of expectation there, within the jewel of the city. Perhaps it's from the children – school will be reopening again, soon. The heat, still awkward for many, has yet to offset some traditions. So soon, school will begin again. Perhaps it is due to the many, varied experiments that go on in the area. Tokyo-3 has become a center for innovation, invention, and controversy. Differing opinions are the seed for progress, and this city is no exception.

This is the world you know, for now.

-

* * *

- 

"Hey, Shinji!!" the girl screamed, her face in the sun bright, her eyes shining. "Faster! You can do it, go!" Below, the sounds of wheels, pummeled concrete and labored breath sped by. And her eyes never left him, as the wind of the mob's passing blew her hair out, glinting in the sun along it's highlights. Screaming her enthusiasm again, the boy heard and smiled slightly, his eyes on the goal.

'Yeah,' he thought to himself. 'I _can_ do it.' Body straining, all his focus on one point ahead of him, he lunged and kicked, and easily broke from the pack, his smaller frame easily slipping between the others. Easily taking the tape with him, and his with it, his first win.

His smile threatened to split his cheeks as he looked at the tape clutched in his hands. 'My first win. Just me.'

Soft but insistent arms wrapped around him suddenly and he blinked, surprised a moment until he met the eyes, the smiles around him. Holding out the scrap of tape in both hands, he laughed, and they laughed with him.

'Never just me. I'm never alone, now.'

-

* * *

- 

Amber, it was the totality of her world again. Try as she would, the empty tranquility would not come. Each time, faces, the tidal pull of emotions would disrupt her quiet mind.

Not that she minded. Or would discard these feelings, these precious things of her own. They were hers. In the world she existed in, so few things could be labeled such, and each was jealously guarded.

It was a supreme effort of will to keep her expression in it's facade of neutrality.

The doctor's eyes narrowed, as she looked over the data before her. Those same eyes flicked up to meet, and quickly slide away from the crimson gaze leveled at her.

Even the glass of the tube did nothing to soften that glare. The girl inhabiting it knew that, but didn't care.

"Rei, have you been maintaining your medication?" The question was partially reprimand, the tone indicating the doctor knew the 'girl' before her would be answering as she expected.

"Yes."

Painted lips narrowed, the sigh ruffling blonde hair before her nose. The doctor wondered silently, watching the monitors say everything and nothing about the youth before her, 'I wonder how long this can go on?'

-

* * *

- 

Fingers flexed in the glove, causing the fabric and plastic to creak and rasp with strain. She smiled at the feeling, the sound. 'Still here, still in the game,' her thoughts rounded, rebounded on that one simple statement for many moments.

The lights came up, and she watched the world go dizzying, insane, but she kept it together. "Keep it solid, yeah," her voice echoed into the central chamber. Her lip quirked at the corner.

A voice, as much in as outside her head, answered almost immediately, "Keep what together, Mana?" Blue eyes rolled.

"Don't worry about it, Stacy." Her voice, despite being serious still carried that ever present edge of a smile. "Ready to go for a walk?"

Stacy should have answered immediately, but paused, almost for effect. "Such a phrase carries connotations of the object in reference being unable to manage it's own faculties, of a fashion. This does not make sense. Are you insisting I need to be walked, Mana?" The auburn haired girl pulled her visor down from the helmet she wore and grinned.

"'Course not, just making smalltalk," realizing this would only elicit more questions, she picked up quickly. "Initiate self diagnostic, autistic mode engage; level five logging to audio. Primary controls shift to direct cogitative interface." The cabin hummed to life, as the machine around her did the same.

-

* * *

- 

The lights went down, and with it the sound resonating beneath her chin, through her hand. There was a pause, probably three heartbeats before it began.

It never failed. That pause scared her to death. Her own heartbeat sped up, painfully hammering against her throat, the space over her breast feeling bruised suddenly.

They clapped. Oh _god_ how they clapped. It was a tide, a flood. She laughed and it was that same confidant, easy laugh. The fake laugh. It was what they wanted; she knew her talent, and it was part of her charm.

A small part of her mind cringed at that. 'This isn't me.' She smiled, waving the bow over her head in a broad sweep – an imperious gesture. 'This is who I have to be.'

In Asuka's mind, she laughed nervously before the concert hall, relieved her performance was acceptable, glad of their praise, and comforted by the strong hands of her teacher, wrapping her in a companionable hug.

The concert hall rang with applause and calls of bravo, but no one came close to her. No one offered her a comforting hand, or the companionship of contact. She was their dream; a culmination of effort and experience. They were great, through her.

"But I'm just Asuka," she insisted to the concert hall in her mind.

-

* * *

- 

Fourteen years as a ghost, an echo. 'Is it time, now? Is it finally my time?' A pain, sharp and aching, spoke_yes_.

'My... chest?' Amber fluid splashed against the ground, and a subdued, quiet cough echoed about the cold, lifeless room. He listened to it, an overwhelming sense of wrongness encompassing his existence. His... 'I am male?'

The man before him moved with the sound of gears clicking, hydraulics wheezing and plastic rasping against necrotic flesh.

A small frown creased the pale youth's lips as he regarded the 'man' before him, still trying to find equilibrium in the clutch of gravity and air suddenly.

Said entity regarded him back, eyes veiled with metal and glass, a distance between himself and the thing on the floor an impassible gulf. "Are you satisfied with your... vessel, Tabris?"

"Of course," he spoke, his voice queued to flippancy. Inspecting it, despite his previous statements, Tabris marveled at the fluid machinery of his new vessel. In spite of his fascination, there was one thing that troubled him, and as he stared around the room, it finally dawned on him.

Blinking, he looked back to the smirking man before him, mouth working slowly. "My..." the words died on his lips as darkness slid around him quietly.

-

* * *

- 

_Tick_.

The clock around his wrist and the chess piece spoke at precisely the same moment. "So, you think simply tossing the children together like this, without any direct..." Grey brows furrowed, searching for the proper words, contemplating the board before him. "Discussion, is wise? Will they really come together and do what's needed?"

Immediately after his piece was set, a second was moved.

_Tick._

But the hand holding it lingered, but not with indecision. It was a point, an emphasis. "They will do what's needed. It would be impossible for them to do anything else." The hand over the black rook finally retreated, back to rest under the chin of it's observant owner. "It is how this works. Free will is only as destructive to a scenario as you allow it venues to explore."

A huff and grumble were the opponent's only response, the board before him the focus of his gaze. Moments passed as he deliberated.

_Tick_.

"I think, that within the nature of free will, lies the potential to break down the strongest limitations."

Again, his move was instantly countered, this time a piece lost.

_Tick_.

With a smile lacking any warmth, the gloved hand's bishop tapped a queen to the side and took it's place. "For that, one must perceive said limitations."

A weathered face smiled, rueful. He reached out and slipped a key piece to the back of the speaker's defenses, the sacrifice play the opening needed to pose the needed distraction. "You assume, that even those things you use to limit have no freedom to choose to be or not be tools. I would advise caution, in presuming too much, Ikari." Considering the board quietly, he sighed. _Such irony_. "Checkmate, my student."

The seconds ticked away quietly, without any sign of reaction, movement from either party.

"Indeed."

The five dossiers on the desk were unheeded, their contents memorized already, long ago.

-

* * *

- 

The darkness of the room was pervasive, the dour lighting only emphasizing the chill of the space. The four inhabitants stared at one another, two uneasily, one stoic and one simply observant. Beyond them, the windows shone the eerie orange and red that forced all there into silhouette.

"The stage is set. Soon, the actors will all be in place," the figure sitting glances up, as if noticing the other room's occupants for the first time. Light glints sharply from the glasses he wears, but the glare never seems to fall upon any of the gathered.

One silhouette wraps arms around herself, looking down, to the side, away from the man behind the desk. "I still feel this is all so unnecessary, if we simply explained why-"

"Your position is to guide, observe, report, and limit the situation," the glasses turned to her, but again, the light never touched another. "Remember your role, Captain. And why it is you are here."

"Yes sir." She falls silent for the rest of the time they attend the man behind the desk.

Another steps forward, a folder landing on the desk from her outstretched hand. "Progress on the activation of Unit 00; all failures. She – it is unusable for now." Wish a sweeping gesture, her hand indicated not only the afore mentioned target, but the girl who's picture was laid out before him.

A slight pause, and the women shift uncomfortably in the cold, the scrutinizing gaze of the Commander unreadable behind those glasses. "Proceed with activation tests as scheduled."

The woman, her hand still outstretched over the picture hesitates. "Yes, sir."

Silently, behind them but visible to all, the stately profile observes the machinations and puppeteering of his pupil, and extending forth, the web grows and gains. "This chain of ever complex lies and manipulations can only end in tragedy, my student."

A smile crosses the face behind the folded hands, but veiled by them, the gesture is lost to time. "As it should be."

-End, Prologue.

A/N: Simple and clean, if in the veritable form of eye-catch commercial. Scenes up to the dialogs are not sequential. They simply are.


	2. Chapter 1

I own what I do, not what GAINAX does.

As life is best lived by and exampled by the living, and in living, there are no censors to experience. So too, is fiction. This fiction, at least. Rated T for now, but be warned it may go M. Life happens.

-

* * *

- 

Chapter One:

An angry beeping woke Shinji from his comfortable napping during class, startling him into jerking upright and making the legs of his desk rasp against the floor.

"Mr. Ikari, would you mind answering the question?" The man before the class, rather old but sometimes severe, was glaring at him while he blinked the sleeping images from his brain.

The Third Child swallowed hard, his mouth going dry as he realized all the eyes in the class were on him, and quite a few held amusement at his plight. His color drained, and the edges of panic were creeping up his spine, but the beeping sounded again, a soft sound in reality once one's head wasn't firmly attached by ear to they're laptop.

It was the space of a few moments, ones he knew were sharpening the glare of his teacher, that he took to glance down and back up quickly. "In sphenic ordering, it's the second, sir." Swallowing again he hoped the message wasn't just a trick to get him in further trouble.

It took a moment, and a harsh nod, but the teacher went on with his lesson, acknowledging the answer as correct without fanfare. Slumping in relief, but now quite awake, Shinji spared a longer look at the message that proved his salvation.

**Yagata. R: It's the 2nd sphenic number, baka-san. **

Shinji's eye twitched at the use of a nickname that Asuka was trying desperately to popularize, much to his mortification. 'I mean, it's bad enough she uses it constantly, but why try and make everyone else do it?' Rhetoric annoyed Shinji, so he forgot the musing almost immediately. He instead looked over at his savior, the girl across the room sitting with her attention split between the man droning on in front of them, and her latest copy of_Chorus_.

He blinked at the title, realizing that the magazine was of a Josei variety, aimed at women over the age of eighteen. Shaking off the ruminations of why someone in his class, probably aged fifteen, would be reading situational romance geared for older women, he noticed the slight grin the girl wore. It didn't seem to be mocking, condescending or annoyed, so he chanced to speak with her a bit more over the school network.

**Ikari. S: Thanks for that, but um... could you not call me that?**

He spared the dark haired girl a glance and noticed her grin grow slightly. She also put down her magazine and settled her attention to the machine before her.

**Yagata. R: Sure, what would you rather be called, then? Can I call you Shinji?**

The Pilot swallowed again, realizing he would very much like a glass of water. So far, the only other females he knew that referred to him that way were Misato, Asuka and Rei, and all for different reasons.

Misato, because for some reason it amused the hell out of her to use his first name and cute it up. "Shin-chan" though just... grated on him. Sure, it was typical of school kids and family to use a diminutive of one's name, but they'd only really known each other as guardian and charge for about two months now. Somehow it never settled well to him.

Asuka... well sufficed to say when she did refer to him by his given name, it wasn't out of kindness or familiarity. Unless one counted her palm. He was decidedly familiar with that.

Rei, on the other hand, was the closest thing Shinji had to an actual friend, outside of Toji and Kensuke. Despite Asuka's arrival, and subsequent disordering of his life, he maintained a constant and friendly contact with the introverted girl. It was only recently they began using given names with one another, and then only in each other's company. It was a point of pride to him, that she seemed to open up around him, be more expressive. Their bond, as pilots, led to their friendship, and for that alone he was thankful of the influence of Evangelion and NERV in his life.

Thoughts of his 'extracurricular' activities darkened his expression, and before he realized, the next message beeped onto his computer, cutting his morbid thoughts from the forefront of his mind.

**Yagata. R: Sorry, didn't mean to annoy you, Ikari.**

Blinking furiously at the message, he realized his wandering thoughts, and somewhat angry expression must have been pretty obvious to the girl, and quickly typed a response. Hopefully one that would solve both problems at once.

**Ikari. S: No, it wasn't that. Just remembering something. Um, Ikari's fine, I don't want you to feel obligated to let me use your given name, seeing as we hardly know one another.**

It was the truth. Rika Yagata wasn't one of the people that commonly, or even remotely, made contact with him or his small inner circle of friends. In honesty, she was likely closest to Toji in such things, the two of them being more athletically minded. Shinji glanced around his class and furrowed his brow, thinking.

'Odd, that I never noticed the cliques in class before.' He picked out the athletes, the otakus, the heavy academics, and the student council groups. There were overlaps, but in truth...

Asuka, Rei and himself really belonged to none of them. Sure, Asuka was outgoing, friendly and had a fan club of sorts, but as for personal friendships and ties, she only really associated with Hikari Horaki, who as class representative, was also in the council group. 'Maybe we're seen as the "Pilot" group,' he idly thought, leaning back in his desk to stretch.

Lunch was approaching, and messages were being passed around with more frequency now. He got the usual message from Kensuke, about eating on the roof, and agreed as usual. Toji asked if he was bringing Rei with him, and after a small discussion with the quiet girl, he responded he would be.

The following stream of nonsense about him having "three fine ladies all over him" wasn't worth responding to.

What did surprise him was the last message, almost as the bell rang, from Yagata. Without really thinking he responded, more to evacuate the room as fast as he could, and hopefully dodge Asuka's ire at his shift in lunch preparation priorities.

'At least Rei said thank you,' he groused.

**Yagata. R: Mind if I talk to you a moment during lunch?**

**Ikari. S: Sure, we meet on the roof.**

With that the Third dashed to Rei's seat, taking her by the wrist and dragging the hapless First Child behind him, narrowly dodging the irate tirade of Asuka as she rounded on him for some reason or another.

Probably had something to do with her lunch being leftovers from last night.

It was halfway to the roof when the realization that Rei was not so much being dragged behind, as running beside him hit him, and rather than break stride, he sped up. Glancing to the side, he noticed the girl's crimson eyes dart to his. She graced him with that tiny, almost imperceptible smile she only shared with him, and Shinji laughed.

They didn't bother to let go of one another's hands till they made it up to the landing, outside the roof and stood, leaning against the walls panting slightly from the sprint. Laughing quietly as he caught his breath, he watched as Rei stood serene, if a bit winded. "Sorry, just didn't want to hang around as an easy target for Asuka, is your wrist ok?"

Nodding, she rolled her hand slightly, meeting his glance. "I am fine, Shinji. A small warning next time would be appreciated though." When he laughed and nodded an affirmative, the pale girl smiled her slight smile again, and opened the door to the brilliant sun outside.

Having raced up, they were the first to arrive, and so made their way to the left around the access riser and to the table that was back there. Usually those were in place up in the main portion of the roof, but having found the sun a bit unbearable in the perpetual summer heat some days, Toji, Kensuke and Shinji had managed to drag one around here to the shade without much trouble. After which, it'd been pretty much made into their personal area. Once Rei started joining them, it was doubly appreciated, as she expressed a slight distaste for excessive sun.

The two Pilots were just starting in on their bentos, care of Shinji's cooking, when the other two of their usual group made an appearance and greeted them before digging in themselves. Toji seemed tense, but otherwise unperturbed, his usual gusto for food never dulled. It was Kensuke's almost preoccupation that finally got Shinji's attention.

"Ken, what's up? You two are quieter than normal today." Cracking the tab on his drink, the Pilot watched as the two glanced at one another then back to him uncertainly. 'Uh oh, this can't be good,' he mused, while Rei put her chopsticks down, regarding the three of them with her quiet gaze.

Kensuke made himself busy inspecting the polish on his glasses while Toji stared hard at his food, having put it down after the question. The Third's brow raised at this and he amended his earlier thoughts from 'bad' to 'worse'. Finally, the athletic boy sighed and looked up, focusing on some point in the sky over Shinji's head.

"Well, I'm kinda bummed, y'know? What with the track teams and half the athletic programs being cut." The youth's hands clenched at the package his food came in, the cellophane crinkling noisily.

While this was news to the Pilot, Kensuke only nodded morosely. "Yeah, and with them go most of my income, what with there being no good material," he groused.

"Material? I do not understand," Rei queried, her head tilted slightly as she regarded the suddenly evasive otaku.

The bespectacled boy seemed to be trying to duck under the table, but Toji straitened him up with a snort. "He sells photos of the girl's track and sports teams to people." Rei seemed to frown slightly at this, before fixing the abashed otaku with a glare.

"I assume this included the swimming teams?" she asked, her tone icy.

Toji laughed and clapped his stuttering friend on the shoulder, "Oh, he really got a lot off those photos, what with the bathing suits and all."

"How many photos of me have you taken?" The First Child didn't inflect her words, but one would need to be dead to not catch her undertone of annoyance.

Shinji nearly choked on his rice when he caught up to conversation, his daydreaming cut short. "K-Ken! You didn't!?"

With Toji laughing, Shinji's aghast expression, and Rei's glare promising an icy death, the camera-obsessed otaku did the only thing he could think of.

Kicking Toji in the shin, he used the distraction of the taller boy's howling to cover his retreat, dashing for the riser while the other two Pilots looked on with confusion. After they realized the boy had escaped, for the moment, it was lunch as usual for a few more minutes. Toji 'borrowed' some of Shinji's bento, while Rei quietly ate, her answers to various questions and conversations quiet as was her way. It wasn't until Toji and Rei were both staring over his shoulder, that Shinji realized he was in considerably more shade than normal and turned, expecting an irate Asuka but finding instead a rather amused Yagata.

"Um, hey, sorry about being back here, forgot to mention we usually sit a bit out of the usual way," suddenly nervous, the Pilot offered her the seat between himself and Toji. Glancing at Rei as she sat, the girl shook her head and smiled lopsidedly.

"It's alright. When I saw Aida running off I figured you had to be back here somewhere," the grin faded, and she paused a moment before continuing. Looking back at the sunnier expanse of roof behind her, she startled them all with her abrupt manner. "Actually, Ikari if I could speak with you privately a moment?" Not waiting for a reply, the dark haired girl walked back to the railing a few meters away, apparently staring idly out at the empty track and sports fields.

Blinking at the shocked expression on Toji's face, and the mild curiosity on Rei's, Shinji sighed and stood, instructing his fellow Pilot to show the other boy whatever lethal force training she'd received if he touched his bento while he was gone. The blanch that took over Toji's usually livid face was indication enough his lunch should be safe, but if Rei were facing him, he may not have been so quick to joke about such things.

Yagata didn't move, as he approached, but he was still hesitant. Thoughts of the previous conversation, in the class came to mind, and Shinji found his resolve wavering. His internalizations mirrored this, 'What if she's one of Asuka's fanclub? Or one of those cultists... oh god. What am I doing?' Despite it, he quietly settled by the distracted girl and looked out at the fields where she was glancing.

Somehow, with the damage to the city barely being attended to in the distance, the idea that the school's fields, the tracks and sports events ending was a very sad thought to him. He wasn't athletically minded, but those same daily reminders that life went on were part of his routine. Shinji's world was shifting, and in part, he could feel it was his own fault. The Angels, the threat of them, drove people away, and without enough students, soon even the school itself would close.

They stood there, as the silence drew on, and Shinji was painfully aware that his lunch was not only far away, but likely not going to be finished today, at this rate. It was a mild surprise when Yagata started talking again, as abruptly as she had earlier. "You know, I've never really liked you."

Shinji stood, somewhat bemused at her comment, his expression evident of it. "Er, well... I get that. A lot. Anyway, I'll... yeah," turning, he shook his head only to feel a hand on his arm, holding him in place. "Huh?"

Her expression wasn't so much aggravated as blank, her eyes expressionless behind the slim, sharp rimmed glasses she wore. "Hold on, alright?" Sighing she let him go, leaning against the railing as the wind picked up and blew her hair into her face somewhat, obscuring it. "It's just that you're hard to approach. People think you're distant, aloof maybe. How you always wear those earphones, how you never speak to anyone on your own."

Narrowing his eyes in thought, he nodded and turned back to the field, a safer target for his stare than the pretty, but confusing, girl in front of him. "Yeah, I guess I am. Hard to talk to." Shinji knew she was right, knew also that those opinions were there, but did nothing to silence them. Honestly, he liked them. The Pilot had no intent to be a very social animal, and school was no exception. Though he tried to be polite and attentive when needed, he never really made an effort to seek out others, or when he rarely did, it was one of his small circle of friends.

He wasn't involved in clubs, due to the nature of his tests at NERV, nor was he very interested in activities during school hours. The nature of what he did, made such things seem... trivial, he supposed. 'When any day one of those... things could kill me, sculpting or debates just don't seem so vital,' he thought with a sigh.

"Well, the smarter people know better," she fixed him with steady eyes, and even in his peripheral vision he could tell how serious her expression was. Regardless, he kept his gaze fixed on the empty field. In a voice softer than her outburst, she continued, "when will they be gone? When will things go back to normal?"

Shinji's mouth worked slowly, he felt like there wasn't enough air. "I don't... know." Despite his status as a Pilot, in reality they told him very little. Most of it involved commands and guidelines and schedules, and almost nothing about his role or the enemies. As long as he rode that thing, and Angels died, there wasn't much to say. "I wish I did know. But I don't, I'm sorry."

Yagata laughed quietly, her arms wrapped around herself as she turned back to the view, tracing the track with her eyes. "Worth a shot. I mean, no one will approach Ayanami, and forget asking Soryu. Anything that comes out of her mouth is either glorifying herself or for the express purpose of sounding like god's gift to earth itself," she finished on a bitter note, voice dripping with derision.

Despite his own opinions, he didn't like hearing his roommate, fellow Pilot, and sometimes even friend being put down, and it irked him that this girl, random as she was being, picked Asuka to rant about. "It's just how she is, and it's fine by me. She's already proved her ability, and comes here despite not needing to. Maybe she's a bit hard to get along with, but she's not a bad person." Brows furrowed and knuckles white around the railing, he was slow to speak but didn't let his voice waver. The Third knew Asuka would never defend him like this, but that wasn't the point.

Despite his feelings, Shinji was loyal. Asuka was part of his family, as dysfunctional as it was, and he'd defend them, her.

Sighing, Yagata leaned against the railing, her arms crossed under her. "You're so hard to figure out, you know that?" She paused a minute to watch him, but he kept his eyes on the track, watching some birds land, and take flight as they were disturbed suddenly. "You avoid her, get bashed verbally and sometimes physically by her, but you defend her like she's your sister, or girlfriend." The dark haired girl smirked slightly as his rising color. "I wonder how much truth there is in those rumor-"

The Third Child rounded on her, eyes gray and hard as he cut her off. "If there's nothing else you needed, I'll be going. I'm not interested in feeding some rumor mill." Turning, he felt her reach out again, but this time he shrugged her hand off like it were some insect aggravating him. "Thanks for the help during math, but I don't think we have anything left to talk about."

Rika Yagata, age fifteen and vice-captain of the girls track team, stood as the boy walked stiffly back to his friends and sat, speaking little and simply packing up his bento without opening or sparing it a glance. After a few moments she made her way back to class, the others with Shinji, the boy who ran track Toji and the other Pilot glaring at her every step of the way.

Closing the door to the riser behind her, she leaned on it a moment, heedless of anyone possibly opening or passing through for a few moments. Sighing with her head down, Yagata spared herself a sardonic smile. "Way to go, one more failure on the list today." Pushing off the door hard she walked quickly back to the classroom, and sat at the desk assigned to her for a few moments, busy with her own things. Rising and without pausing to speak to the representative or the teacher, she left the class to make her way home. On the way past Shinji's desk she did drop off a small letter, ignoring the stares of others present, one of those being Soryu.

'Maybe I can make amends, and say what was needed this way,' she thought as the students passed her, moving to class as she was making her way out. It was near the stairwells by the door she was stopped by the blue haired form of Ayanami, as the girl simply placed her small frame in the direct path Yagata was walking. Looking up with a tired sigh, she muttered a quiet "excuse me," only to have the slight girl step back in her path.

Narrowing her eyes, she stood there and faced the quiet Pilot. "Yes, Ayanami, what is it?"

Calm crimson eyes regarded her for long moments. "I understand why you approached him, Yagata."

Yagata leaned against the lockers and sighed expansively. 'What did I do to...' The moments wore on and she slid her slim glasses back up into place, her posture having let gravity pull them down. "So. And?"

Without breaking the gaze that Ayanami had locked on her, the pale Pilot pulled a small photo out of her school bag, handing it to the somewhat distraught taller girl. Yagata stared at it, an expression of incredulousness spreading across her features. "Where... did you? Ayanami?"

The First Child nodded, a small bow to the other girl and walked past her toward the class, the last bell coming soon. Her faint voice came to Yagata as the distance between them grew. "Many watch him, most only for what he is. Not who he is." The sounds of other students grew, people were rushing back to classes, back to where they belonged.

Rika Yagata ran out of the school, her bag almost unheeded in her hand as she stared at the small piece of paper clutched to her chest. "Hope after all, maybe this will work out." She grinned as her feet flew along the asphalt, speed thrilling her despite the heat. "Maybe we can still do this..."

Crimson eyes stared at the form racing through the streets surrounding the school, making it's way deeper into Tokyo-3 and away from the sound of the final bell. Ayanami focused on the reflection of the class in the window, the harsh fluorescents making it easy to pick out small details to the observant eye. Glancing down, the girl opened her text book to the page indicated by her teacher, and proceeded to stare back out of the windows, back into the class itself. The lesson for today, as always, regarded Second Impact, so the material was rote to her basic knowledge.

Movement caught her vision as the reflection of the Third Child found the note Yagata had left him. He read over it, seemed to a few times. Then his gaze went to the empty chair the girl usually sat in. She held that focus for long moments.

'Ikari...' She kept reminding herself to use the familiar with him, and it was still new to think so. The name meant much to her it was in many ways, a bittersweet thing. Since the Fifth Angel, the messenger Ramiel as she knew it, they had become closer. The other Pilot had asked her to dinner a few times, and each time she had accepted, despite her obligations to NERV. Even if she knew, when she said yes, that there were times she'd not be able to go, she still acquiesced. Soryu would have said it was her nature as a doll, that she did so.

In truth, she thought each time through very carefully. She accepted, to show him her willingness to share his time, to spend time with him. Ayanami, though she was not very expressive to most, was with him, and it was this fact that seemed to bolster his own courage with her.

True, she was adept at keeping her emotions to herself, within, locked away safe and distant. Despite Soryu's claims, she was anything but an emotionless doll. She – Rei had always had emotions. Red eyes narrowed, as her memories played along the glass in front of her.

Vague flashes, images of the newly created MAGI. Joy, at being given a secret, her first real treasure by the Commander. And a task, a very, very important task. Pain, the second time she had felt it, from another. Confusion. Anger. Betrayal. The images flitted faster, faster, until she snapped to a single frame, words echoing in her mind quietly.

The Commander, standing over her, the hospital bed she was in unchanged for many days, the fabric coarse and itchy. Ayanami rotated the scene in her mind, searching his face, as always, for any fault of remembrance. Then the words, indelible in her memory, came again. "You were created by me to serve a purpose. Only that, and nothing more. Everything else is unnecessary. Do you understand?" His face was cold, held only scorn, distaste.

Ayanami remembered that day. The day she has asked why she must be housed in the apartments, so far from the Commander. Despite his cold, sometimes brusque demeanor, he still paid attention to her, still saw to her care. The illusion that he cared about her, as a person, evaporated that day. Rei Ayanami was a tool, to him, and nothing more. Blinking in the sun, memories moved again, as she scanned forward, her expression bland as it always seemed, but her eyes were bright, active.

Again, she came to rest with her focus on the Commander, but there was another here, the Doctor. 'The second Doctor,' she reminded herself. Her impulse to grin wryly was stifled, 'much as I am the second.' It was this day, that Ayanami was to be shown just how little value, outside of her role as a tool, she had.

The Dummy Plug system. Oh, she was aware of her 'sisters', had been since each time she awoke, for the first time. Vague, colorless memories, all of the same sky, sea, the same pressure and resistance on her skin. Memories before she was Rei. Memories when she was just another body, soulless, floating in that amber void.

Replaceable. Like Naoko Akaki was. Like the first Rei. Like anyone who did not dance as the Commander wished, to achieve his goals. Naoko was used up, dry, empty, and so she was discarded. Ayanami could only guess why she had been used to do so, to speed that act.

Perhaps she was too young, in that stage, to be ready to pilot when the time came. Rei realized that her present physical age was inconsistent to her first memories, even as the first Rei. Perhaps, since then they were GEHIRN, there was no Section 2 to simply order her execution. Perhaps the Commander needed proof that his tool was ready and willing to do as he asked. Perhaps he needed to cement the other Akagi's, Ritsuko's, hatred of her early, via her mother's death, so she would never feel pity or remorse for her actions against Rei regardless of form. There were too many reasons, but the true 'bottom line' of it all was...

She was replaceable. No matter what happened, the Commander would always have a Rei, another Ayanami, another First Child waiting to further his goal.

And so it was, that Rei Ayanami began what she had been taught, not by lessons, or textbooks, but by example. She began to plan. To build scenarios, to plan contingencies, read situations, and analyze data. Her realizations of what she was, her lack of value to the people she must be in contact with for her survival, for make no mistake, if she proved an unwilling tool, she would die, forced her to bury, subvert herself.

'To survive, I became the image of what he wanted,' she mused, staring at the other two Pilot's images in the window. 'But I was aware. They are not.' The fact that both the younger Ikari and Soryu were little more than gears, important gears but only that, in the Commander's plan only served to reinforce her point. She smiled, into the window where no one could see it. 'But none of my planning covered Ikari.' His kindness, the way he tries to protect not only her, but Soryu who treats him so badly, touched her, as well as confused her.

'Still confuses me, but I am learning.' Again, bitterness flooded her, as she remembered the conversations of classmates, of readings she'd done of families. Family. The word thrilled, and stung her. 'Nine years. I have been, have existed only nine years. And never in that time have I been shown compassion. Caring. Understanding. Not till Ikari,' the savage coldness that those thoughts wove into her calmed, soothed the hurt and anger that were threatening to breach the mask she wore.

Oh, the Commander came to her during the reactivation failure. Again, she smiled wryly into the blank eye of the window. With the Dummy system offline, and no way to ensure his progress, he was understandably concerned for her. Rather, for his tool's well being. 'One cannot have setbacks, can they, Commander.'

A harsh ringing, the class bell brought her attention back to the here and now, but she remained, staring blankly ahead. The day's musings had left her feeling empty, unmotivated, weary. Ikari's slight clearing of his throat beside her desk caught the girl's attention, and she turned a tired face to the boy beside her.

"Ayanami, will you... are you alright?" He kneeled, there and and waited for her to answer, concern plain on his features.

She graced him with a small smile. "I will be fine, Ikari." Her vision flicked to his side, near the door to the room, and a waiting, somewhat tense Soryu. Even though Ayanami was witness to it, daily, she was still amused at the dynamic between the Second Child and the Third. "Perhaps you should walk with Soryu today, she seems to have something to speak with you about."

"But um... are you sure? I don't mind waiting." He blinked, watching her carefully.

Nodding very slightly, she closed her eyes and wondered, if in truth, this was a good idea. "I will be fine. I will call tonight, though."

Glancing back over his shoulder, the boy spotted the other Pilot, who seemed suddenly preoccupied with her school bag and it's contents. Paling somewhat, he smiled at the blue haired girl before him and went to speak with his roommate.

For Shinji to say it had been an odd day would be an understatement, to say the least. First, the odd computer chat conversation with Yagata, then her behavior at lunch... and once he got back, the letter. 'Whatever it was she wanted, at least Yagata's persistant. I guess a couple people would be thrilled to have that kind of attention from a girl like her,' He discarded the thought almost as soon as he had it, sure that it was just this sort of thing that warranted Asuka's vehemence in his status as a pervert.

Still... that letter.

_Ikari_

_I'm sorry about earlier, it really wasn't my intent to bother you.  
Seeing as I messed up so bad, trying to talk to you about what  
was on my mind, maybe I can find a way to show you directly._

_Come to the corner of IH 138 and north side access highway  
75 route, from the school. There's a bus that runs there. Come  
between 7 pm and 9, and you'll see._

_Yagata, R._

He had no idea what to make of it. It almost sounded like... she was asking him out? 'Oh if that's the case... I definitely have to stop this,' he grumbled as he walked to Asuka's side.

"Hey... um," fidgeting with his own bag, the Third sighed. "How was lunch? I know you said you liked the stuff from yesterday, so..."

With a smirk the girl standing before him shook her head, her red-blonde locks swinging with the motion. "Silly baka, it was fine," the Pilot leaned back against the door frame and glanced up, a wary expression on the Second's face. "Why'd you rush off during lunch? Thought maybe we could have eaten together, but you always run off with Wondergirl."

Shinji leaned up and narrowed his eyes at his roommate. "Will you stop calling her that? I thought you two were getting along better."

"Me? Get along with... her?" Asuka's hand shot out to point at the stoic Pilot, still quietly sitting in her desk. "You really are stupid, aren't you?"

"And besides, you know where we go, you could always come join us..." Sparing another glance at Rei she stuck up her nose and sniffed.

Sighing, he settled his back against the door frame as well, and stared at the girl opposite him. Her manner always threw him off, made him uncomfortable. It wasn't her haughty attitude, or her sometimes violently outgoing and aggressive stance on... well anything and everything.

It wasn't her manner when dealing with the Evangelions. Or NERV or her track record with it, and her sync ratio. Even the combat training they went through together over the seventh Angel did little to unnerve or bother him.

What really got to him was the fact she wouldn't open up and talk with him – was always hiding something it seemed. And if he asked about it... well.

"Hey, Asuka? What do you know about Yagata?"

Asuka paused in what she was about to say, and blinked at him bemused. "Yagata? Rika Yagata?" When Shinji nodded she glanced at the desk they're classmate usually sat in. "Tallish, wears those small, silver lined sharp glasses, hangs with the athletes Rika Yagata?"

Seeking through his satchel he nodded again, "That's her, so do you know anything, other than what you just said, though?"

She snorted and flipped her hair again. "Why? Does the invincible Baka-san have a crush on her?"

The Third rolled his eyes and sighed, turning out of the door and starting on his way down the hall. "Forget it, really. It's not important." He'd taken about ten steps before he heard her running up to him, drawing along side him as he stalked along the lockers.

They walked like that a few moments before the German girl's voice reached him again. "Hey, what is it? Why did you ask?" More moments passed, before he answered.

"It was... odd, today. Here, read this and tell me what you think." They'd reached the doors, and as he opened them for her to walk through, she started scanning over the letter. It was only a short while till Shinji sat down on a bench near the door, watching the various expressions racing across the usually livid girl's face.

Her posture, and the look on her face said volumes regarding what she thought about the scrap of paper and what was on it. Fist clenching around the edge while her shoulders tensed and hitched, eyes twitching slightly at the corners. "Wh-what is this?! Th-tha... is everyone in this country insane?"

Shinji actually laughed at that, amused for once at the Pilot's ire being directed at someone else. He felt a little guilt at this, albeit brief. After all, it wasn't anything serious – yet. "I don't know what it's about, but it's really vague isn't it?" He wished he knew more about Yagata at that point, could place her motivations about that letter. "I really don't think it's anything weird... you know. But still, this is really... hm."

The redhead calmed a bit at the uncertainty in Shinji's voice and sat beside him, holding the letter out like it was a venomous snake. "Yeah. What are you going to do?"

Looking over the note again, he shook his head slowly. "I really don't know. I mean, if Section 2 doesn't think I'm running away, I might be able to go, but should I? Maybe she's a cultist. Or just some... Evangelion fanatic, you know?"

The two sat in thoughtful silence for a while, each preoccupied with their own thoughts on the subject. The shadows were stretching slowly, reaching across the ground toward them as the day wore on. Minutes passed, and finally Shinji sighed, reordering his satchel and standing. Looking toward the east, he stood silently and took a hesitant step.

"So you're going to meet her then, baka?" Despite the light insult, her tone was quiet. The afternoon sun was painting her hair in brilliant, fiery tones, and he couldn't help but smile at the effect.

"I never... told you about the early times, here have I? Here in Tokyo-3?" Dropping his satchel on the bench, the Pilot paced around, finally settling under a tree nearby, the smooth bark cool against his back, compared to the still-humid heat of afternoon.

"Huh?" Asuka sat, blinking up at him in the afternoon glow.

He laughed, and her brows knit together at the tone of it. She hated it when he was self-depreciative, and that laugh dripped with just that kind of emotion. "It was... after the second Angel I fought." Asuka watched as he slumped against the tree behind him, feeling suddenly very powerless, perched on the bench where she was.

"The... you know that scolding we got after the first try on that splitting Angel? The Seventh or something?" When she nodded, blushing slightly he smiled. "Yeah, 'We're here to destroy the Angels'. Well it's what I did. I killed it, despite Misato ordering me to retreat."

The Second muttered, "But... isn't she the one most hell bent on killing them? Isn't it her job to have us kill them? That doesn't make sense."

Nodding, the young Pilot of Unit 01 continued, "Yeah, doesn't, does it? To complicate things, after she all but told me to leave, if I didn't want to pilot." He laughed suddenly at the memory. "You know, I really didn't. How could I, I'd never so much as seen something like this before I arrived. I don't even know why I can. But there was father, and Rei, and Misato and everyone... like it was some foregone conclusion.

"After that Angel, she locked me in the brig for insubordination, for killing the Angel against her orders to retreat. So I ran away, just... left."

The gasp from the Second was enough proof that this wasn't something she'd heard of, which was no wonder. NERV wasn't the sort of place to toss information, important or trivial, around idly. Shinji continued, "Well, after that... I decided that running away was just me, finding some way to cope, deal with the... well madness around here. But now," pausing, he sighed. "Now things are different.

"If I don't go see what it is she wanted, it'll just be running away again, in a different way, maybe. Besides, she seems persistent, and the last thing I need is attention from her making people talk." He grinned slightly as she nodded, eyes downcast and brow knitted in thought.

Asuka looked up at him as he picked up the satchel on the bench beside her, catching his eye. "Why didn't you walk Wondergirl home today like you usually do?"

Shinji sat beside his roommate and watched her closely a moment. He could tell, had known for some time that it bothered Asuka on some level that he spent time with Rei. Despite it, he continued, for much the same reason that he made lunch for the quiet girl, and tried to spend time with her.

It made him happy. Rei liked his company, and made it obvious, much like he did with her. That was reason enough.

"For one... she actually suggested it," he held up his hand to her souring expression, knowing the origin of that explanation would aggravate her. "I also wanted to talk with you, since it's been a while since we have. You've spent more time with Hikari, and after the Seventh, I guess we've both wanted our space."

She nodded and stood, resettling her school uniform's skirt as the wind picked up slightly, "Yeah, it was rough living so close with a pervert like you." Smiling slightly as she said it, he answered with a small chuckle.

"If you two could get along better... eh." Shaking his head he pushed off the bench and stood himself, "I should get going, if I plan on getting there in time at all." Shadows cast from the sun's path stretched out and along the ground ahead of him, across the path and bench they had recently sat upon. He guessed it to be around 7 pm, giving him maybe an hour of travel to get him to the place in the letter.

The Third Child had taken less than a dozen steps before he looked back, just catching Asuka about to say something. Seeing his gaze upon her, she pursed her lips and turned, walking toward the apartment they shared without a word or gesture. He looked up as he walked, and without much effort spotted the blue edged silhouette of Rei there, still at her desk. Waving up at her, he started on his trek to the meeting place, thoughts of the day's conversations running rampant in his mind.

His bond with Rei, the awkward conversation with Yagata, his sometimes friendship, sometimes rivalry at the hands of Asuka. It made for a very complex day, one not very suited for classwork and academics. Two of his tests today were testament to this, and providing there was time, Shinji decided to spend the next few days catching up on his studies, if he could. 'Maybe I can get everyone together to study, it'd help us get along better as Pilots if we worked better as, well, people too.'

Smiling quietly at daydreams of Asuka, Rei and himself bantering over dinner and schoolwork, happy images that carried to college years even, Shinji spent his walking time in a content daze.

It was around an hour later he figured, when the sounds of the intersection, the two highways got loud enough to make out over those of the rest of the landscape. It wasn't a sparse area, and on the way he'd passed the Sengoku Art museum, the Cultural Center as well as the Botanical Gardens. All were testament to the survival of culture despite the attacks, despite Second Impact and the darkening mood of the general area thanks to NERV's influence.

Shinji was rattled out of his quiet thoughts by the thunder of wheels overhead, which on it's own should have seemed odd but there was another quality to the noise that spurred on his curiosity.

Dashing out the last few yards to the sidewalk, he scanned the skyline for the source of the noise only to be met with a sight that would etch itself in his memory nearly as strongly as the first time he looked up at Unit 01.

Just as he leaned against the railing, using the metal guard to lean back on and let him crane his neck, a girl with skates dashed off the roof of the building by him, her laughing cry a harsh contrast to the sounds around him, the quiet of the Sengoku area. She didn't so much as hesitate it seemed, her legs close and poised for the landing along the empty flood channel beyond the railing. The black racing jacket she wore was open, and he briefly caught a glimpse of her midriff as she sailed overhead, dust from the building raining down in her passing. Overall, the impression he got was of someone more suited to flying than being bound by the ground.

"Amazing..." He didn't blink as she took the landing without slowing, and proceeded to rip around the basin there at speeds that would make Misato's driving seem almost tame. Some time later she was joined my more skaters, some even making entrances like hers, flipping off the overpass to slip down bridge supports on their skates. Others simply rolled in along the basin, while one literally sailed in on what looked like a kite or miniature hang glider.

Settling along the embrasure by the basin, he watched as they chatted and raced one another, bantering as they never stopped moving. There were about seven, the three most daring making up what looked like leaders among them. There didn't seem to be a clearly defined line between the ranks, but they all followed, either by choice or lack of speed, those three. It was a brief span of minutes until they seemed to hear something, and like a flock of birds turned and sped down the basin as one.

Shinji wasted no time, his curiosity getting the best of him as his feet pounded the cement sidewalk heavily in pursuit of the group. It was nearly five minutes of steady jogging later when he stopped to catch his breath and the sight before him. If the entrance of the one girl had stunned him, this was a total shock.

There, in the empty drain basin was at least two dozen people, from ages five to what seemed like fifty, all using the huge empty pond's basin as a skating ring. Inside the disperse mob were currents of people, small groups inside the larger, each seeming to stick to themselves but none disrupting the people around them. It was... amazing.

So engrossed by the sight and sounds before him, tucked away a dozen yards from the edge and around a mailbox, that he missed the sound of quietly whispering wheels coming up behind him. "Hey Ikari, glad you made it."

The voice snapped him out of his reverie and he blinked, slightly shocked by the sight behind him. There was the flying girl, the one in the black jacket that had taken off from the roof earlier. As he blinked up at her, she sprawled beside him and pulled the goggles down, slipping a pair of glasses from her jacket and tucking them in place.

Rika Yagata smiled back at his incredulous expression as the last rays of sun glinted along the wire frames of her glasses. "Not quite what you thought I'd bring you here for? Yeah I guess not, I never got the chance to explain really."

Nodding woodenly he looked over the girl that earlier in the day struck him as nothing more than a slightly academic track enthusiast with a chip on her shoulder. Now what met his gaze was a lithe, swift young woman more suited on wheels than feet, wearing a very flattering short shirt under a jacket and a pair of fitted shorts that left little of her form to the imagination. 'Not quite a plugsuit, but not a bad effect,' he mused as she sat and watched the skaters beyond their hide.

"My group, DisEngage, is out there tonight, getting some light skating in before the races tomorrow," Yagata added, almost like she was speaking to herself. "That's why I asked you out here... you see, we're looking for some new people."

The Third shook his head and had to tear his gaze off the slightly winded girl before him. "Why me? You know I'm not in to the athletic side of things, hell even my piloting is just sitting in a chair." He laughed quietly and nodded toward a younger kid who had fallen and was being helped up. "And what made you think I can even skate?"

He should have known by the feline smile she had, that something bad was coming his way. What she flipped into his lap made him jerk in shock, however, and he stared at the photo for long minutes.

The sun had dropped below the horizon when he finally looked up, the shadows on his face obscuring his eyes. "Alright, I'll sign up, but on a few conditions."

Yagata's look of success dimmed slightly, not expecting conditions. The trump card having had an effect she'd not have guessed, sure, but he almost seemed... angry. "Sure, name it, this is going to be great though, we-"

"One, I skate under a nickname, handle, alias. I'm not going to be an Eva Pilot out here," his tone was steel, cutting her off despite her gushing at his agreement. "Two, and this one's important... understood?"

Yagata blinked, her elation dimming significantly in the wake of Shinji's focus on her, his manner looking less like the nervous, sometimes socially inept student she was used to and more like... 'What... should I expect. He kills monsters, what was I thinking,' paling at her own realization, she nodded numbly. Shinji's expression and gaze were blank, sharp, unfocused but his tone, his voice were harsh and angry.

"I want to know where you got this photo," and having said that, he flipped the slightly discolored, aged picture around where he held it in careful fingers, the light catching along it's glossy surface.

There, in the frame of off-colored white, was a small boy in skates, holding hands with a woman who was laughing beside him. Her face was easy to see in the picture, brown hair and gentle green eyes smiling.

Yagata nodded, standing to work the nervous energy from her limbs. "I'll explain on the way to the pond, lets get you introduced to the others."

A/N:

Not a crossover.  
Cookie to someone who can guess where Rika's design was from. Answer next chapter.


	3. Chapter 2

I own what I do, not what GAINAX does.

As life is best lived by and exampled by the living, and in living, there are no censors to experience. So too, is fiction. This fiction, at least. Rated T for now, but be warned it may go M. Life happens.

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* * *

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Chapter Two:

The afternoon had worn on without much fanfare. It seemed Yagata hadn't really spoken about her 'plan' to anyone else on the team, and even now they doing little else than introductions as friends and classmates.

He tried to remember the names of everyone, but that was proving difficult with so little reference to work with. No sooner had he met someone, then they were off back to the pond – the large empty basin, skating again. All in all, it was a rather anticlimactic afternoon considering all the internalizations he'd put himself through just to be there.

'Not that I mind it being something simple,' he reminded himself. 'Hell, better this than her asking me out, that would have been odd.' He sat and watched, as the team Yagata led, DisEngage he thought she'd called it, spun and wove into and out of the people who also gathered to spend time here. Despite his growing curiosity about the group, he remained and watched, a silent observer for most of the afternoon.

Glancing at his watch, the time was nearing the point where he'd need to begin the trek home, to make his curfew at Misato's apartment. Standing and resettling his bag along his back by the straps, he waved Yagata over and waited for the black jacket she wore to separate from the milling mob and make it's way to him.

Rolling up beside him she spared him a glance and furrowed her brow, "Hey, leaving so soon? You've barely been here an hour."

Nodding, the Pilot looked up at the sun and grimaced. "Yeah, I live on the opposite side of town from the School, near route 736," realizing he'd been fairly descriptive, after the fact, of where the apartments were, he kicked himself mentally. "Anyway, I need to get moving."

Yagata waved to some of the people still skating, and followed him, barely shifting her weight to keep pace with his walking. "So you are... going to skate with us right?" Despite the agreement and nearly argument earlier, it still concerned her, the workings of her plan. He had been so angry to see that photo it seemed, but rather than treat it like many people would, an item that raised ire, he had cradled it, kept it in a book in his satchel to avoid it getting fouled.

"Yeah, but I need to get things, equipment again," he grinned lopsidedly as he thought about this. "Well, provided I have the money to do so." It was a few moments till he realized the sound of her skate's wheels had stopped, and he turned to face the somewhat incredulous girl. "What?"

She shook off her bemusement and regarded him like he was joking, "You're serious, I know you well enough to know when you're kidding, and you hardly ever do. You _do _get paid to Pilot, don't you?"

The brown haired Pilot shrugged and chuckled, waiting for her to catch up to him a moment before continuing on, "Hard to say, I think our NERV ID's are like bank cards, but as for paid... no idea. I'll ask my guardian."

Rika again found herself with more questions, particularly about this last bit, but kept them for later. "Well, if you need things, best place to go is actually Mamoru's, shop. He's the one that came down the overpass, if you were watching." She fished around in her pockets and produced a worn card case, much dented and roughed. Shinji supposed she kept it on her even while skating, which amused him somewhat.

"Ah, here we go... there's his shop's card, should be easy enough to find," She grinned and held out the dog-eared card, the grin widening as he took it without hesitation or comment.

After stowing the card somewhere he'd be able to retrieve it later, he leveled a glance at her, appraising. "So do you all get gear from his shop?"

Shrugging, she nodded, "More or less, it's easy to keep things simple that way. We always know what kind of gear to expect, what kind of replacements we each need. We tend to sync our gear for that reason. Just in case." He nodded, understanding.

'So they really are a pretty close knit team,' he mused, expression souring a bit. 'Why ask me to come in then? So obviously an outsider, and with what she said earlier...'

"You know, I never really liked you..." the words echoed around inside his head a moment, the look on her face then, somewhat guarded but direct. He'd not doubted her statement – on the contrary, he understood it well. He wasn't very likable and knew it, but that didn't change the fact that Shinji was hesitant about this entire situation.

It reeked of planning, schemes. He'd had enough contact with his father and NERV to become sensitized to the machinations of subterfuge, and though he found it distasteful, he didn't let his naiveties rule him. "One thing... Yagata. Why did you ask me? Why approach me, out of the class for this? You must have some reason." Shinji's last statement bore the weight of recrimination, but his tone was neutral.

Rika sighed, knowing this was coming eventually, but hoping he'd be... well happily settled into working with her and her's before it came up. "You want the long version, or the short one?" She trimmed beside the boy as he walked, swaying slightly, little motion needed to keep his pace.

Shinji considered her a moment before shrugging, "Hrm, I guess the long version, unless you have somewhere to be." Sparing her a grin, he gestured down the street. "I live about an hour's walk from the basins."

"An hour's worth of story? Hrm... probably won't take that long," She sauntered up ahead and glided backwards as she pulled her goggles down again, settling them around her neck and slipping her trademark silver rims over her ears. "Besides, I have my own curfew to think about," smiling she settled back beside him as they made the slow trip from the Tokyo-3 metro outskirts to the deeper city.

She trimmed there a few moments, Shinji assumed collecting her thoughts. In truth, Rika was watching him from the corner of her eye, comparing what she'd learned, what she'd known against rumor and hearsay. Lifting the corner of her mouth, she kept a surreptitious eye on her companion and started the rather boring tale of her ill thought-out plan.

"I've... only really had the track team, as long as I was in Municipal, like Toji," She seemed to find a cadence between her slow pace and story, Shinji found the counter, the sound of the wheels skimming along concrete and tarmac between her words somewhat peaceful. "Well, then things got bad, you know. Angels."

The Pilot nodded, a rueful expression on his face as they paused by a crosswalk, the buzzing of the signal prompting her to continue. "Well, things were actually looking up, for me. See, I am – well was, vice captain of the girl's track team," nodding again, the Pilot signaled this was know to him. "I guess... was it after Asuka arrived and that last bombing run I think.

"Yeah, it was that one. The one bombing scared people, then when it died, there was that mountain," she shivered and Shinji heard her skates roll over a crack on the sidewalk harshly. "A third of the class moved, disappeared like smoke after that. After that, the school... I guess there was something like resignation, it felt like."

Stopping to scan the skyline, Shinji remembered that fight. The sense of dread that washed over him when they failed the first time to eliminate the Angel. It was NERV's first official failure, and it was a telling blow to the city's faith in their protectors. It was a feeling Shinji had no desire to feel again, and he had no illusions that anyone else wanted to be here, if they weren't part of or involved with NERV.

Hell, he didn't want to be here, but if Shinji wouldn't Pilot, then someone else would suffer. Would be forced into that seat, forced to face those monsters. "Maybe you, maybe Hikari, maybe even Kensuke," he muttered under his breath, eyes narrowed against the streetlights, the glow of the city an artificial dawn that never came behind the mutable horizon.

"Excuse me, I don't follow."

Shinji laughed quietly and shook his head, "Nothing, just talking to myself."

She watched him, expressionless, the night lights glinting off her glasses. "First sign of madness, they say."

"Oh, don't worry. It's in the job description, I think." The Pilot picked up the pace, using the motion to still his thoughts. "Sorry, for interrupting. Go on."

Rika felt there was much more that motivated those words than simple humor, but it was neither the time nor place. Sighing, she also realized it was her story to tell, not his. Not tonight, at least. "I've always skated, I suppose. It was something my brother got into, and when mom just left... well it stuck I guess. It was what my brother and I did."

Something in her manner clicked to Shinji, maybe it was the empty way she phrased it. 'It was what... I did,' he thought, suddenly reminded of his own coping mechanisms. "Yeah, I understand."

She trimmed her skates and spun in place a few times, arms out to slow her down. "Well, after that Angel, things went south, obviously. Some of us really only have small things, like track, or grades," she paused and looked at him meaningfully, "and Piloting."

"Small? Have you seen that thing?" He chuckled as she did the same.

Lacing her fingers behind her head, she smiled, "Yeah, but that's more or less it. After it looked like they were cutting track, some friends and I decided that the only way to really, well, belong I suppose, was to put that energy elsewhere."

The Pilot laughed suddenly, startling her, "Basket weaving not cutting it?" Rika stared at him and blinked, instinct keeping her skates in line.

'I really must reassess my views, there's more to this one that I thought,' the girl mused. Outwardly, she shrugged, "Well, you have to realize most of us were sports types, or not really the academic sort. To be honest, it was just easier to get together outside of school, rather than try and find something inside." He nodded, but stayed quiet. In truth, it made more sense than he let on. After all, in school, the networks, clubs would be subject to the same stresses that closed down the sports programs. Outside of it, there was less control, less likelihood of things going south, outside of the group's control. "Anyway, so I put things together with my brother, and we started asking around, then things just clicked.

"We started the team, and organized with other displaced students, and finally had something solid, you know?" Yagata laughed ruefully, mirth missing from the sound. "He was killed, recently. Gangs."

Wincing, Shinji stopped, hands and mouth working silently a moment. "I'm... sorry. I didn't know."

Rika shook her head, rolling some small distance ahead of the Pilot. "No way you could, so don't worry. That leads to now, though, and why I asked the famous Pilot Ikari to join my humble skating team."

Silently, he walked on, following the swaying of her body, the skates putting her above him. Silly as he may have felt, it was oddly familiar, that situation. He had a quiet moment of remembering the picture, hidden away in his science book, the slightly faded frame of white seeming to creep around his vision for a moment. The feeling passed as suddenly, and he reminded himself that this person, the fledgling woman before him, wanted him for some purpose that extended beyond just his company and participation.

"As it stands, we want to keep on skating, with purpose. We race, to have that... but we need people to race, ones that have drive." Turning, Rika favored him with a quiet smile, "Which, is where you come in. Can't think of anyone more driven than a Pilot, and well, if truth be told I was hoping having you in our numbers would um," she bowed, an awkward gesture as she skated before him, backwards.

"Was hoping you being on the team, racing or not, would net us some new members, I guess," the skater straitened, and dropped back beside the Pilot, sighing. "Not my best idea, I know."

He smiled, realizing her reasons weren't so bad, considering. 'Publicity, a little socializing, some exercise, and hell, maybe a few new friends,' he mused, thinking of all the things he could to justify accepting her offer, for both their sakes. Shinji resettled his satchel, and considered the young woman beside him, "So, you think having me around will help things, to keep on moving forward, then?"

"It's my hope," she admitted, her hands now laced behind her back. He noticed, that skating slow made her fidget, keep shifting her hands, and stifled an apology that welled up for keeping the girl so long, there beside him; Rika's discomfort, though not really his concern, still told on his mind. Shinji took no pleasure in her discomfort.

The Third smiled suddenly, glancing at his companion. "Hope, hrm? I think that's good enough reason for me, really."

"That'll do huh? Well, I guess I should have just stuck with the short version... seeing as I'm already about an hour into this little walk," Rika chuckled, curving up ahead on a curb to a stop. Shinji started and realized they were only a block away from Misato's apartment. Bowing, he started to apologize but stopped once his companion skated beside the Pilot and nudged him hard enough to knock him over if he did so. "None of that."

Nodding slightly, Shinji stopped at that corner, careful to remember the protocols established by NERV. Among those being that he should minimize exposure of the Pilot's domiciles to civilians. "I guess this is where we part ways, then," Smiling, he shrugged and motioned in a direction opposite the side of the block the apartments were on. "I'm right over there, but I have to drop by the corner market too."

Yagata stilled her rolling and fidgeting and came to stop near him. "I just wanted to say, thanks, for this. Not just the skate team thing, but talking with me, even though you really had no reason to," Arms wrapped around herself, she seemed very vulnerable to Shinji, but despite the talk, the company, he wasn't comfortable enough around her to offer comfort. The impression faded as she buttoned up her jacket and grinned at him, "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at lunch, if that's ok?"

Shinji nodded and made a mental note to warn his usual table mates of this before lunch tomorrow. Better to have no more surprises, he reasoned. "Yeah, that'd be good actually... you can give me more of an idea about what to expect and such," an odd idea flickered through his mind and he grinned slightly. 'She wanted more people... I wonder.'

"Night, Yagata, I'll see you later," the Pilot quipped, before heading in the wrong direction, determined to circle around once, keeping with his guise.

She waved briefly, and started skating to the south, obviously home at that hour. Luckily, the Yagata residence wasn't too far off, as time was measured skating.

-

* * *

- 

The apartment seemed quiet, as he arrived, which was typical of that hour. The walk out to Sengoku and back had taken up most of his afternoon and night. He paused outside the door and and listened, but only hear the sound of the television playing beyond the door.

Shrugging and deciding to just get it over with, he palmed the door open and slipped his shoes off, wincing at how tender his feet had gotten from all the walking. 'Should have listened to Yagata's note and taken the bus,' thoughts of the afternoon were stilled, though, as he blinked into the living room.

"Welcome home, baka-san. How was the date?" Asuka smirked, leaning back against the couch in her usual night clothes, the video game in front of her forgotten for a time.

Shinji smiled and shook his head, settling on the couch by his roommate. "Pretty depressing if it was supposed to be a date, actually," he laughed at bit as she harrumphed and turned back to face her game, the screen blinking patiently, paused.

The redhead wrapped her arms around her legs and leaned her cheek against pale knees. The two teens sat that way, silent and still for some time. Finally, she shifted, impatient with her own curiosity, "So, what was it she needed, so badly then?"

He waited, watching her play the game for a few minutes, aware of her growing impatience. Finally, when she'd taken a moment to get a drink from a nearby glass, he spoke, "Well, it was a bit awkward at first, the dark alleys, her leather outfit..." water splashed the television as Asuka sputtered in surprise. "Kidding, kidding."

"Damnit, stupid jerk, you did that on purpose!" Coughing and trying to get her breath, the Second Child glared at him, swatting at his leg as she did so. "You know, Misato almost cooked tonight because of you!"

Grimacing, the Pilot shook his head, "Yeah, was afraid of that. How'd you keep her out of the kitchen?"

Asuka grinned evilly and reached under her backpack, pulling out her rather bulging wallet. "Poker game."

Shinji blinked and stared at the girl like she'd grown snakes in her hair, "When did you learn to play that? And did you go easy on her?"

Snorting, the girl shook her head. "Hell no! She kept playing like an idiot. I swear, how does she pass as a tactician if she can't even bluff well at cards?" Sighing, she started packing her backpack again after looking at the clock. "Getting late, we should sleep soon."

Starting, Shinji looked at the clock and saw just how late it was. 'Did I miss Rei's call? Should call her soon myself, just in case,' he figured, knowing some days she got wrapped up in her studies or was so exhausted by the tests and activities at NERV to spare him time. He didn't mind; Shinji knew she had a very intense schedule, easily twice as harsh on the Evangelion side, for some reason.

He reached out and stilled the fiery Pilot before she could shuffle down the hall to her own room, "Hey, one minute, before you go?"

Blue eyes scanned across his hand then up to meet his, expressionless for a time. "Hrm. Sure." Settling back on the couch beside the young man, Asuka resisted the urge to fling his hand off her shoulder. 'We've been getting along so well recently, no reason to foul that up just because. He's not so bad to deal with when he loosens up at least.'

Nodding, he seemed to think a moment, sorting what he wanted to say. "Ah, about tonight, and the Yagata thing..."

Rolling her eyes, Asuka shook her head. "Don't tell me if you don't want to, baka."

"It's not that," he added quickly, sighing slightly into the gloomy room. "I know you hate it when I apologize, but this seemed important; the way she approached me and all. Besides, you know how bad I am at telling people 'no'." Grinning, he shrugged. "Sorry for making you deal with Misato on your own, I know you two don't get along well."

Closing her eyes, she untensed her shoulders slowly, fighting the impulse to just shove him away and run to her room. "Baka. Just remember, you owe me." When he nodded, grinning wryly she sighed and leaned back against the Pilot. "So, tell me about this mysterious meeting. Seems to be bothering you."

Shinji reflected on the situation, himself leaning back on the arm and the corner of the couch, the pretty redhead facing away from him but leaning back into his chest with her arms across his knees. Since the Seventh, things were less outwardly tense between the two, but there was a distinct stress on other things.

One was this, and the Pilot could never quite sort out what it meant. Asuka knew he and Rei were dating, or if their hesitant, somewhat stumbling progress toward that didn't quite qualify, were moving that direction. Yet still, on days when it happened that Misato was at NERV late, or slept early, some days they'd end up like this, intimately close to another but just that.

Oh, he'd never pushed the topic. After the night where he nearly kissed Asuka, and her nightmare, he'd stopped backing away from the hot-headed Pilot and stood his ground with her, not so much confrontationally but emotionally. That night helped him realize that despite his respect for Asuka's strength and pride, she was still human. Like him, sometimes she needed comfort.

He began what had been set down as routine, pulling her A10 connectors out gently and letting her hair fall, before leaning over to the side and fishing the brush from her satchel. "We've talked a lot today, haven't we? More than since the day after the Seventh, anyway." He separated her hair in his fingers, drawing some to the side to brush as she tilted her head. Shinji could imagine her expression – half annoyed contemplation, half uneasy.

"Yeah... complaining? I could always go back to communicating with my fists," the light hitch in her shoulders told him she'd laughed, and he chuckled as well.

"No, I prefer really conversations, honestly. Hold on, tangle," he worked at the small knot, probably wind-tied, for a moment, concentrating on it so no to irk the redhead. Freeing the offending strands he smoothed them back into the fall of her hair, "Yagata... it was awkward, really. Did you know she skated?"

Leaning back against the warmth behind her, Asuka shook her head. "I'd only heard about the track thing, and maybe something with her brother," biting her lip, she sighed. "Hey... mind if I ask you something important?"

A small tingle of dread crept up his spine, but he stilled the brush and nodded, then answered, mentally chiding himself for forgetting she couldn't see the motion. "Y-yeah, go ahead."

Taking a breath, more to still herself than fuel the sigh after, Asuka half turned to watch the nervous Pilot she was resting against. "Why have you never... well. Tried anything?" When he blinked, confused she quirked her lip into a wry grin. "Well, that's an answer in some way I guess, but to clarify... I meant, with me."

He knew this conversation would happen eventually, ever since talking with Kaji that one day and getting his advice on Rei, back when Asuka had just arrived. The Agent had told him that in their situation, it was likely that eventually the redhead Pilot would grow fond of him, but he never believed it, but then during Synchronization training, things changed. Still, having heard about it then being confronted with it were two different things.

Mental exercises Shinji could handle without much conflict, this was causing him mild panic. "W-well, for on-one thing, I guess," Taking a deep breath, he counted to ten slowly, letting it out. Asuka smirked at his discomfort and leaned forward, arms still draped across his calves, but lessening the contact between them. "I really respect you. I don't... hm.

"You know how I get upset with Ken over his damn photos?" She tensed and nodded, fully aware that her image was a good portion of the funds for the otaku's newest video camera. "That's one thing, I never liked the idea of him... I guess reducing people down to objects. I don't see you as just a pretty girl, someone foreign and exotic like a lot of campus does."

Asuka stilled, her mouth a bit too dry to speak, but something in her mind was screaming that this wasn't what she wanted, and in the same voice it was telling her it was. Standing suddenly, she nearly unbalanced the hapless Shinji into the floor, then without looking back at him strode to her room, hoping he'd not-

"Asuka, I'm... will you meet us for lunch tomorrow? Please?" He shoved the impulse to start spouting apologies somewhere deep and dark, hoping he'd not said something to upset their tenuous friendship.

She only nodded slightly and slid the door shut, never turning to watch as the youth seemed to deflate where he sat.

It was nearing midnight when he stood to shuffle to his own room, pausing for the length of two heartbeats by her door, the sound of hitched breath and sniffling coming from behind the thin wall. Bending into himself a bit more, he less settled so much as tripped into his bed, and rolled to face the ceiling, eyes unfocused and blank. 'I can't seem to do right with her. I mean, I don't... want to give her the wrong idea, but she seems to need a friend, badly. Someone to open up with, but she just can't.'

Running a hand through his hair, he slipped out his cell phone, and pointedly not looking at the time, called Rei. The phone rang, three times as it seemed it always did, before she answered.

"Hello, Shinji," her voice seemed strained, tired and he was suddenly wondering if he'd do anything right that night.

Stifling a sigh he wondered if he should just end the call quickly so she could rest. "Hi Rei, are you not feeling better from class earlier?"

There was a small pause, one he knew meant she was weighing what to say. "I am feeling better from that time, yes."

Chuckling slightly, he closed his eyes. "And so what has you sounding so weary now?"

"There were... complications at NERV, and I was there until just recently," her tone was the flavor cold neutral he'd come to recognize as disgust, and he wondered what it was, precisely that they did with her, so often. And not for the first time. "I was just getting dressed when you called."

Swallowing, the youth attempted not to stutter a response to that, the realization that Rei may be naked on the other side of the phone causing his color to side sharply. "Er, sorry for that. Do you feel up to talking for a few minutes, though? I know you're tired... I just need to, I suppose."

Rei paused a moment, briefly, to consider his words. Usually, Shinji rarely if ever asked anyone for anything, preferring to do things himself, or to simply let the issue pass were it not vital or something weighing heavily on his mind. She was relieved, truthfully, that he asked, it showed he was willing to break those small barriers that separated them, slowly. "Please, go on. I do not mind," she answered simply.

Shinji nodded to himself and recanted the afternoon's events, the meeting with Yataga and agreeing to her idea. While he was briefly going over the event, he remembered the picture, and swore quietly, "Ah, damn. I forgot to ask where she got that picture, despite all that time walking. I was so caught up in that story of hers."

"Shinji, I have something I need to tell you," those words cost her much, and her body quietly railed against her for getting stressed, in her weakened condition. "I have been... somewhat untruthful about some things, regarding your father."

This last line nearly shocked the brown haired Pilot to the floor, and he was glad for his current position, laying on the bed. "Wha- how do you mean?" was all he could stutter out, the ideal he had of Rei suddenly seeming somewhat incomplete.

"First, you must realize he has been untruthful to you, in the past. He did not destroy all traces of your mother, Shinji." Her voice was low, sounding weary but he was caught by the last words, more than her tone.

His mouth worked a moment as he put the pieces together, "Why didn't you... why give it to her?" His tone warped from confused to angry in a moment, making the pale girl wince.

"What did you have before Eva, Shinji?"

The question stalled him, as he readied to ask her why this mattered, but his mind shut down a moment as the realization hit. "I didn't, well. I had nothing, really."

She sighed, slightly relieved he'd not just focused on his anger, for the moment. "And what do you see yourself, having after it?"

It was a question he himself asked, far to often. Thanks to NERV, his school activities, including possibly school itself was in danger. His mind clicked from one possibility to another, none seeming as bright as he could have hoped; but this wasn't hoping. This was reality. "I don't know, college I'd hoped, but with the Angels," he trailed off, the sentiment obvious.

"I understand, I myself have only just recently decided to have a future," he'd nearly interrupted her to ask about this but she continued, before he could do so. "However, the is also the 'now', to consider. It is why I... will you do me one favor, Shinji?"

Blinking, he answered, "Yeah, of course Rei."

Her small sigh of relief wasn't missed but him, "Please reserve judgment of me, about that action until tomorrow. I have something I want to show you, but I would prefer it to be somewhat of a surprise still. I was not quite ready, but I believe now I should simply show you."

"I wasn't going to judge you Rei, but I just have so little of her left, even something like that photo. You realize that's the first time I'd seen her face since I was almost four?" Shinji's voice cracked slightly, the photo in his hand from where he'd pulled it from the book a moment ago.

She stilled and hoped, in the future he'd be as forgiving another secret that she was even more hesitant to admit. "I am sorry, Shinji. Just trust me, a little longer. Please?"

"I do, and I will," Sighing, he set the photo to his nightstand and noticed the time. "We should sleep, Rei. It's really late, and I don't want to stress you anymore than we have already."

"I understand, Shinji," Rei said quietly, knowing he was still hurting over her actions, but unable to soothe him for now.

"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow, so sleep well."

Her voice caught slightly, forcing her voice and last words into a whisper as she clicked the call button quickly after.

Shinji stared at his phone, blinking for many minutes as his memory played back again, and again. He tried to convince himself otherwise, but he knew he heard what he did.

"Did she just say...?" Sighing wearily but with his mind whirring frantically, he turned and settled to try and sleep, but it was long in coming to the restless Pilot.

-

* * *

- 

A/N: Ending at an opportune point.

Yagata Rika's design was influenced by Yadomaru Risa from Bleach


End file.
